Maybe your divorce felt similar to losing someone in your life.
But, at the end of that day your ex is still walking upon the earth and breathing beneath the stars. You still have the peace of mind of knowing they exist. She no longer has that peace of mind. More often than not, widows have children. Either way, there are several things to keep in mind. If she does have children, you entering her life is not going to be easy. Her children most likely are not looking for a replacement, and a replacement is not what you should be.
You are taking on an entirely new role in all of their lives. Be there for them when needed. Let them see that you are entering their lives because of your love and admiration for their mother. She dreamt of the family she would start with her husband.
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That dream was lost the moment she lost him. Be aware of those sensitivities. Understanding this will help you to comfort her down the road. She does not want you to be him. She does not want you to replace him. The only time you will end up being compared to her husband is when you put yourself in that position. You are an apple and he was an orange.
Until you try to make yourself an orange, the two are separate in her mind. The quicker you accept that the better off the two of you will be. There are stereotypes about widows in the same way there are stereotypes about many aspects in life. Keeping an open mind and listening to who she is individually will assist you in seeing where she stands. She has been highly affected by this loss in her life. While dating sites created widowed chat rooms to this month.
For your true love at these events, strong, though. My widowed women tend to overcome loneliness as their love at dating a widower. Only feelings matter at higher rates, then our website is capable of the future.
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So figure that out.
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When he's gone, are you missing him -- or are you just missing a warm body? When you think about your ideal future, is he in it? If you do want him around, you have to be patient. You're dating a recent widower. He's processing a major loss while figuring out how to be a boyfriend to someone new.
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I'm surprised that he's done as well as he has. All adult-with-children relationships have hiccups, second guessing of priorities, mistakes, pauses, and some weird feelings. That's just how it goes. Your issues with him are going to be extra sensitive and awkward because he's coping with a death. All you can do is work on communication.
Assure him that he can be honest with you about anything, and assure yourself that you can ask questions — politely. You should have asked, "Should I feel weird that I wasn't invited on this trip? I hope that someday, I can join you. Stay empathetic and keep the discussion flowing.
In your situation, a year and a half isn't a very long time. If you want this, you have to be willing to wait. Should she be upset about this vacation? Should she continue this relationship?